FRANCES HARRIS FOR MAYOR

Posted November 23, 2004

By Glenda Minor

Some things are just meant to be. They are a natural fit. When I heard 59-year-old great-grandmother Frances Harris was pregnant with twins, I knew Arlington had solved its leadership problems. The more you think about this, the more I'm sure you will agree with me.

I ran across an old flyer that our present mayor sent to my house asking me to vote for him. I doubt anyone can remember much about his campaign except "I deliver babies," over and over again. But according to most of the voters in Arlington, and the mayor himself, delivering babies is the most important, if not only, trait needed to run this city. He did send out a survey with such difficult-to-answer questions as, "Do you support or oppose responsible economic development that brings new jobs and more commercial tax revenue to Arlington?" and, "Do you favor or oppose the University of Texas diminishing the importance of UTA?" Talk about "when did you stop beating your wife" questions. Better vote for Mayor Cluck. His opponent might force the shutdown of UTA and the General Motors plant.

Even if you don't have anything against Mayor Cluck, we can do better. So when I heard Harris' story, I knew we had the right person for the job. If delivering babies makes Mayor Cluck the most qualified person for the job, then we should certainly take a good look at someone that can bake a baby from scratch, and at her age, too.

There is one problem. She lives in Georgia. The rules say she must live in Texas for a year and in Arlington for six months before she can become mayor. The solution: We ask her to be our city manager until the 2007 election, and then put her on the ballot.

Harris' first baby was born when she was 15, and she lives in a rural area. Despite relatives saying she shouldn't have the babies because of the risk, she is unyielding and plans to carry them to term. All of this indicates her toughness, stamina and ability to make do in difficult circumstances. You don't make it in her world without knowing the value of a dollar. She will need all of this to deal with budget shortfalls and Jerry Jones. But despite her toughness, her picture indicates a very sweet smile that will come in handy at high-falutin' social events and can charm business people into our city. One look at her picture and I took an instant liking to her. This is starting to sound good, isn't it?

We need to check her out a little further on such issues as eminent domain, but then, we really didn't bother to check out Mayor Cluck very hard once he started saying he could deliver babies. So maybe no other issue but the baby one matters when looking at her, either. When Cluck ran for city council for the first time, winning against incumbent Joe Ewen and two others, he hired the Tyson Organization out of Fort Worth to help him. They get paid lots of money to make a candidate's campaign appear to be a "grassroots" effort. If Harris saves enough money from being city manager, maybe she could afford to hire them, too.

I will sleep better tonight, knowing that our city will soon be in the hands of Frances Harris. For now, I must do some Christmas shopping. I hear Toys-R-Us is selling Mayor Quack dolls. I must get one for everyone on my list. Ask the doll any question and it repeats "I deliver babies" over and over again.